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Literature Text
I look to the smoky, polluted sky searching for your guiding advice,
This feeling of bitter and foreign loneliness and loss of clear direction,
I look to rid myself of the touch, to escape the cold sharp ground,
But my spirit currently stands firm where the earth does lie.
I know I must stay strong and independent within your public’s eye
I must trudge through the unholy day-to-day behavioral correction
When I need you to be here, I force your presence, I force myself to look down
Upon the land: images of us together like a silent film, with which my heart does cry
Hola muerte, Bonjour la mort, I welcome you with no mercy calling cry
For you bring a brave and genuine friend, in whom I’ll find a well met protection
Screams and crying, grief consuming everyone I’ve learned to love that wretched sound
It will give me the tarnished wings I need to soar into the souls with yours kept high.
This feeling of bitter and foreign loneliness and loss of clear direction,
I look to rid myself of the touch, to escape the cold sharp ground,
But my spirit currently stands firm where the earth does lie.
I know I must stay strong and independent within your public’s eye
I must trudge through the unholy day-to-day behavioral correction
When I need you to be here, I force your presence, I force myself to look down
Upon the land: images of us together like a silent film, with which my heart does cry
Hola muerte, Bonjour la mort, I welcome you with no mercy calling cry
For you bring a brave and genuine friend, in whom I’ll find a well met protection
Screams and crying, grief consuming everyone I’ve learned to love that wretched sound
It will give me the tarnished wings I need to soar into the souls with yours kept high.
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When I wrote this, It had been influenced by a personal experience of mine. Reading it again, I see that the poem has expressed a lot of the feelings that many people have on a day-to-day basis and my hope now is that this poem will be beneficial to somebody out there. Perhaps they can find consolation in knowing they are not alone.
So let me break it down for those who may be confused as to what is trying to be expressed here.
A girl feeling out of place in the world, is lacking guidance on how to deal with her problems and fit in with today's world. She is tired of feeling so alone and depressed and wishes that her life would end so she didn't have to deal with any of this anymore, but she can't commit suicide and so her 'soul' remains alive. She feels as if it is her duty to prove that she is strong like the rest of her influences so she doesn't seem weak and blemish the 'title' passed onto her. This is hard for her to do, and when she isn't sure what to do she is forced to go through her memories to find a solution to her problem. At the same time, her memories cause an overwhelming mixture of feelings that make her want her mentor(s) there with her despite her knowing they can't be. She calls upon death saying that, she doesn't care how it happens she just wants death to take her. She doesn't want to suffer anymore, and believes that the only way to stop it is to die. She imagines how sad and distraught people would be if she was dead and feels as if some of the people deserved the depression for making her feel so fake and outcasted. Her story is concluded with the thought that when people realise what she is going through, she will have died already.
Remember my lovelies, you are never alone in this world. There is always someone who is willing to help you and someone who loves you. Hopefully, now that you've read this you know that you're not the only one who has felt like this. It doesn't make you weird or crazy. It makes you human.
© 2013 - 2024 EquitableMadness
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